


Petey and Wade go Trick-or-Treating; in which Peter misinterprets a text message and somehow acquires a “Clutter” of Spiders

by isaDanCurtisproduction



Series: Spideypool Holidares you to celebrate [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Ficlet, Fluff, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Humor, M/M, Romance, Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:26:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8382556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaDanCurtisproduction/pseuds/isaDanCurtisproduction
Summary: Its Halloween and Wade wants to go trick-or-treating, obviously, and he wants Peter to go with him, obviously, and he picked himself out the perfect costume, obviously, so why is Peter making this so difficult??? Peter. It's free candy. Get some.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted a Halloween spideypool fic. And I guess technically this could belong in my [Petey and Wade Series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/297530), but it could also not be that thing. Halloween!

The text from Wade had said: “Put on your costume and meet me outside.” So Peter had pulled on his Spiderman suit and slipped out their bedroom window. He had planned on taking Halloween off, relax a little with Wade at home, but if Wade needed him for something else, for whatever reason (theft, kidnapping, homicide, last-minute Taco-dinner), Peter would go.

He spun down from a web, spiraling faster, next to the fire escape, until he was outside their apartment building’s front door.

“Baby boy!” Wade’s voice shouted from the doorway. Peter dropped onto the concrete and spun to see…himself?

Or no, obviously not _himself_ , but, was that Wade wearing a Spidey suit?

“Wade?” Peter asked, flabbergasted.

“Awww,” Wade said and slumped cartoonishly. “Is that your costume? I thought you’d at least be a _little_ creative. Was hoping you might take inspiration from lil’ ol’ me, so I decided that I’d be you.”

Peter looked at the Spidey-suit Wade was wearing. It wasn’t one of Peter’s, that was for sure, and it looked like the shiny, cheap fabric they use to make Halloween costumes.

And then Peter could have smacked himself.

“That’s your Halloween costume,” Peter said. And then something else occurred to him. “And obviously your text was for me to put on my _Halloween_ costume. Not my—” Peter plucked at the webbing beneath his collarbone, “—this.”

Wade laughed. “Well, too late now, buttercup, we’ve got to go.”

“Go?” Peter asked.

“Trick-or-treating,” Wade whined. “We’ve got places to go, candy to eat. So much Candy, sweet-cheeks, and I’m dying for a kit-kat.”

“Aren’t you a little too old to be trick-or-treating?” Peter asked, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.

Wade gasped as if he’d been slapped. “How _dare_ you. One is never too old for free-candy, my little Pumpkin.”

“Ahh,” Peter said, “And they start. The holiday-themed endearments.”

“Shush you old Witch.”

“And the insults.”

“I said shut it! You’re just upset because you were planning on being boring in your pajamas all night and I’m forcing you to have fun.”

Peter crossed his arms.

“Hah!” Wade crowed in triumph. “Now let’s go!” Wade thrust a plastic jack-o-lantern basket at Peter and then started off down the road.

Peter looked down at the smiling face of the fake pumpkin and sighed, but ultimately followed. “Wait for me, you Spiderman imposter!”

Wade chuckled. “Tonight, o’ Petey-pie, this night of costumes and disguises, you’re your own imposter too.”

Peter huffed out a breath but didn’t say anything.

Wade led them to a neighborhood that was already swarming with kids. There were vampires and witches and ghosts and werewolves and Katnisses and Harry Potters and even little Iron Men and Captain Americas and Black Widows and Thors and Hulks and Hawkeyes. A little Morticia Addams dragged by a slightly older Fairy Princess almost knocked Peter over and he had to laugh.

“Isn’t it adorable?” Wade asked. “These small monsters taking advantage of this capitalist tradition to receive free candy? I look up to them.”

“Well…” Peter said.

“Well, I actually look _down_ at them,” Wade corrected, “but they’re impressive. And I’m going to be one! I’m going to be a small monster and I’m going to get candy!”

He grabbed Peter’s hand dragged him up a flight of stairs to an apartment complex where an older woman was sitting with a basket of candy on her lap. “Trick or treat!” Wade yelled, and thrust out his own jack-o-lantern basket at the woman. She laughed.

“It’s so nice to see some older children,” here she winked, “enjoying the holiday too.” He dropped a handful of candy into Wade’s basket. Peter thought he spotted Skittles _and_ Three Musketeers in her hand.

“Thanks!” Wade said and pranced back down the steps.

Peter paused for a moment, unsure of what he should do next. Finally he decided to just follow Wade back down to street-level, but before he could do more than turn around the woman spoke once more.

“You don’t want any?” she asked.

Peter was glad the mask hid his blush.

“That’s ok, ma’am,” he said instead.

“Young man,” she chided with a smile, “you did not get all dressed up just to go home empty handed. Here.” She scooped a handful of candy up and held it out. When Peter didn’t immediately react she said, “Well, here, take it,” and shook her hand a little.

Peter rushed to hold up his jack-o-lantern for her to drop the candy into. He thought he spotted a kit-kat. Score!

“Now off you go,” she said, and Peter happily nodded and stepped sedately down the stairs to find Wade practically vibrating in place.

“You know,” Peter said slowly, “it’s still sort of weird to see you but also see, you know, me.”

“Candy!” Wade screeched and latched onto Peter’s hand before running off again.

“That’s what I thought you’d say,” Peter said.

Wade dragged him up another flight of stairs, and this time they had to wait behind a few children before they could get their candy too. A teenage boy was sitting with a bowl of strawberry candies in his lap. 

“Trick-or-treat!” Wade yelled.

The boy frowned. “Aren’t you too old for this?”

“Nope,” Wade said, popping the ‘p.’

The boy blinked a few times before shrugging. “Ok, whatever man,” he dropped a few candies into Wade’s basket.

“You know,” Peter said, as he too received his share of candies, “I wasn’t going to do this.”

“Not judging you, man,” the teenager said.

“Just saying,” Peter said, “I wasn’t going to do it. Because I am a responsible adult.”

“Sure you are,” said the teenager.

“But now I’m here,” Peter felt the need to continue, “and I’m having fun. Kind of.”

“Please move,” the boy said. “There’s a line of kids behind you.”

“Just saying,” Peter said once more before moving back down the steps. He cringed a little in guilt when he saw how many kids had lined up behind him.

“Stop talking to people!” Wade howled as he grabbed and dragged Peter once more. “We’ve got this entire neighborhood to do! _Candy_!”

So Peter shut up and they moved from person-to-person quickly, collecting their candy happily. Well, Peter spoke, obviously. He had to say “trick-or-treat,” but no more chatting. Well, he had to compliment some people’s costumes, but that was it. And he chatted a little at Wade but that was really it.

Around the twenty-something-th house Wade said, “Have you looked behind you lately?”

“Uhhh,” was Peter’s first response, “No?” Peter whipped around to see that— “Oh my god. Mini- _me’s_!”

There were three small Spidermen trailing behind Peter and Wade. Two of them were older, eight or nine, and one was nothing more than a toddler, being carried by his mother, who was herself wearing a black leather tac-suit and a badly cut red wig.

“Spider –family!” Wade squealed. 

“Can I have your picture?” Peter asked the woman. “I have a friend who would just _delight_ in this combo.”

She shrugged, and then adjusted her grip on her child so she could pull out a fake gun and pose.

“Oh my _god_!” Wade whined as Peter pulled out his phone and snapped a pic.

At the next house there was a Spiderman in front of them, and when he turned to leave he caught sight of Peter and Wade and cheered so hard he dropped his candy. Peter picked up the kid’s basket. 

“So good! You look real!” the kid said. “Can I come with you?”

Peter looked at Wade, and Wade looked back. Through a replica-Peter mask. Very strange.

“Sure,” Peter said, “join the club,” and then he gestured behind him only to realize that they’d gotten even more Spidermen.

“Where do you guys keep coming from?” he asked them.

“Maybe you have a Spidey-signal shining on your back?” Wade asked.

There were perhaps nine Spiderman, all standing around.

“Next house!” One demanded.

“So no one is going to explain?” Peter asked.

“Was this not planned?” asked a parent. All the parents seemed to be hanging towards the back of the group.

“Uh,” Peter said.

“We just figured,” said another parent. “There was already a group, we thought we’d just tag along. Chrissie was so excited.”

A small Spiderman with holes cut into the mask on either side to fit pig tails yipped in agreement. Peter assumed this was Chrissie.

“You can stay,” Peter offered, flicking his eyes back and forth. He felt awkward. He wasn’t in charge of this… get-together.

A few of the children cheered.

Wade whined a little and pulled at Peter’s hand.

“Alright, alright,” Peter said to him, and then with a wave of his hand at the little-hims, to indicate they could follow, Peter allowed himself to be dragged off once more by Wade.

At the end of the block Peter realized that he had a posse of pint-sized hims.

“Are you seeing this?” Peter asked.

“The You’s?” Wade asked. “Yeah. It’s great.”

They were all staring at him.

“What should I do?” Peter whispered harshly out the side of his mouth.

“Speak to your people!” Wade commanded. “Orate to your countrymen!”

Peter smacked Wade on the arm.

“Sup?” Peter tried to ask nonchalantly.

“Are you real?” One of the Spidermen asked bluntly.

Peter blinked.

“I _am_!” Wade said loudly.

“Not you!” shouted one of the Spidermen indignantly.

“Yeah,” agreed a slightly older sounding Spiderman, “you’re costume looks _cheap_.”

Wade gasped dramatically. “Rude!”

Peter stepped backwards. “Uh… no?”

“Wow,” Wade said, “that did not sound convincing at all.”

“Oh my god,” a very small Spiderman said, “do you want my sour patch kids? They’re my favorite.”

“No, you keep it,” Peter said, “but thank you.”

“I’ll take it,” Wade said.

“No,” Peter said, and smacked Wade on the bicep.

“Please?” Wade begged.

Peter pointed at Wade’s overflowing jack-o-lantern. “You don’t need any more candy.”

“Awwww,” Wade pouted.

“If you really are Spiderman,” one of the parents asked suspiciously, “what are you doing _here_?”

“Having fun, obviously,” Wade answered.

“Not you,” a few of the spidermen and a few of the parents said together.

Wade sighed. “Seriously, you are all ruining my fun.”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Peter said. “C’mon Wade, let’s go home and get sugar-high.”

Wade threw up his hands, and a spattering of candy fell to the ground. “Fine. But, you’re buying me a sour patch kid tomorrow.”

“Ok,” Peter said. Peter then turned to the gaggle of Spidermen. “Good-bye small Me’s.” He turns toward the parents. “Good-bye, Parents of small-me’s.”

“You didn’t answer me!” One of the Spidermen screamed.

“Or me,” said one of the parents.

Peter shot a web at the top corner of a nearby apartment, wrapped an arm around Wade’s waist, and _pulled_.

“Hey!” one of the Spiderman screamed, and a few more made noises of sadness, but as they got farther away, the voices got quieter.

“I’m flying!” Wade screamed, as Peter hurled them through the night sky, “I’m a Vampire Bat!”

“You’re not flying,” Peter said, raising his voice to be heard over the beating of the wind, “and you’re dressed like _me_ , not a vampire bat. And aren’t you too big to be a bat anyway?”

“What about a witch?” Wade asked. “Witches fly.”

“Yeah,” Peter said, “on broomsticks.”

“Shut up!” Wade screamed. He whipped his shoddy Spidey mask off in order to stick out his tongue.

Peter rolled his eyes, but smiled. It was nice seeing Wade being Wade and not…Spiderman. He lowered his mouth to Wade’s and Wade responded passionately.

“I’m kissing Spiderman,” Peter said sort of deliriously.

“Me too,” Wade whispered. “Now let’s go home and I’ll let you get me out of this suit. It chafes.”


End file.
